Friday, July 27, 2012


I'm back :)
Been in some nice place for 5 days, and as nice as it was, I started missing my home on the 2nd day of my stay there.
Well, the first day was kind of terrible. I got a scald burn on my hand, not going to tell you how anyway, it's just because of my stupidity.
The subsequent 3 days were much better: walking, swimming, breathing the fresh air of the pinery, sunbathing. Ahh TAN. This is what I needed this year.
And the journey ended the way it started: terrible. I guess I ate some bad food and felt sick the whole day. There's nothing worse than feeling sick when you're away from home.
Now I'm here, I'm home, surfing the Internet, writing a post for my blog, breathing the stuffy air of my town, and you know what? I feel even greater than I did there.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

It's summer isn't it

Going to lie on the beach and finally get some tan.
Off for 5 days.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Jesus Will Meet You There

I am not a very religious person, I'm not a Christian, but this one got me.

When you think you’ve hit the bottom
And the bottom gives way
And you fall into a darkness
No words can explain
You don’t know how you’ll make it out alive
Jesus will meet you there

And when the doctor says “ I’m sorry, we don’t know what else to do”
And you’re looking at your family
Wondering how they’ll make it through
Whatever road this life takes you down
Jesus will meet you there

He knows the way to wherever you are
He knows the way to the depths of your heart
He knows the way cause He’s already been where you’re going
Jesus will meet you there

When the jury says “guilty”
And the prison doors close
The one you love says nothing
But just packs up and goes
The sunlight comes and your world’s still dark
Jesus will meet you there

When you failed again
And all the second chances have been used
And the heavy weight of guilt and shame
Is crushing down on you
And all you have us one last cry for help
Jesus will meet you there

He knows the way to wherever you are
He knows the way to the depths of your heart
He knows the way cause He’s already been where you’re going
When you realize the dreams you’ve had
For your child won’t come true
And when the phone rings
In the middle of the night with tragic news
Whatever valley you must walk through
Jesus will meet you there
He will meet you there
Jesus will meet you there

(c)Jesus Will Meet You There by Steven Curtis Chapman 

Home is where the heart is

Just the other day I saw a video of my hometown, I don't want to reveal its name now, sorry. Me and mom left this town when I was 6, because the town was literally dying. People kept leaving their houses, they didn't even sell them. Just left everything.
That was 12 years ago. I haven't been there since. Sometimes I do want to go there, walk down the streets that I knew so well when I was a little girl, visit my grandmother's grave. But then I think how hard it might be for me. I cried while watching this video. It captured the house we lived in, it's empty now. All houses are empty. There are no playgrounds, the streets are all empty. NO LIFE.
Still, I often find myself recalling all the good times I had there. You see, it's the town I was born in. The happiest years of my life were spent there. While its dwellers were desperately looking for a new place to call their home, this was my home. I never noticed anything bad happening around me while I was living there.
HOME. Four letters that mean so much to us. Maybe later, when I have a family of my own, I'll be able to say that my home is where my family is. But for now, it's the place where the sky, the air, the streets and the people are so dear to me. The place where the world and everything that surrounded me looked so wonderful.

Ах, как хочется вернуться, /Oh how I want to come back Ах, как хочется ворваться /Oh how I want to burst into В городок; /This town на нашу улицу в три дома, /To our street of three houses Где всё просто и знакомо, /Where everything is so simple and familiar на денёк! /Just for one day Где без спросу ходят в гости, /Where people visit each other without asking permission Где нет зависти и злости - /Where there's no envy and rage
Милый дом /Sweet home Где рождение справляют /Where they celebrate birthdays И навеки провожают /And the whole neighbourhood Всем двором. /Is seeing you off forever Время, время кружит в снеге, /Time is whirling in the snow И разъехались соседи /And the neighbours are all gone Кто куда. /Each their own way И, когда дома сносили, /And when the houses were being pulled down Мы с тобой, мой друг, шутили: /We, my friend, kept joking "не беда!" /"It's okay!" Раз в году письмо скупое - /One small letter per year Поздравленье с рождеством /One merry christmas И долгих лет - /And a wish Ровно в восемь тихих строчек, /Eight quiet lines И другой какой-то почерк: /And a different handwriting Всё, привет... /Well, hello...
Лишь во сне приходят лица, /I dream of these faces at night не узнать и половины - /And can only recognize a half of them Ярок свет! /The light's so bright Год прошёл. Почтовый ящик /A year has passed Открываю - две газеты, /I open the letterbox - two newspapers Писем нет. /And no letters.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Random thought: hobbies

Everytime I am asked 'What is your hobby?' I think to myself 'Oh please not that again' merely because I don't have any. Yeah I don't. 'Watching movies... Hanging out with friends...' I say, while thinking 'Who told you I am supposed to have a hobby? Who made that rule?' People can sense that and make that face as if to say 'Ugh is that all you do? Boring.'
But when I hear other people talk about their hobbies, it's always dancing, swimming, reading, 'Oh I learn 648645 languages all by myself', 'I play the piano', 'I do this, I do that...'
At times like these I wonder if I'm the only one in the world who doesn't know what to do in their spare time. Watching movies is not an option. Nor is hanging out with friends. For two simple reasons:
1. Everybody does that;
2. I don't have friends I enjoy constant hanging out with.
Fine. You're right. My life is boring. It's more boring than anyone else's. But having or not having any hobbies does not make me a less interesting person than you are.

Well... hello?

Hi everyone!
My name is... well, just call me A. 
I am 18 years old and as all 18-year-olds, I'm excited to explore new things on this wonderful journey called life. However, life can be sad sometimes... and I get very sensitive and emotional when something bad happens. So don't get surprised if I post some sad and depressing stuff here as well. I just need some place to pour out my feelings in.
I speak English and Russian so my posts will probably be written in both languages.
Well, that's pretty much it... 

P.S. Oh and as for the title of the blog... May I just keep the secret to myself? One day I'll reveal it to you. Maybe. If you care..