Thursday, August 2, 2012

Dear Evelyn...


When I ask you if something’s wrong and I hurt or offended you, you say it’s okay and you’ve forgotten everything and forgiven me a long time ago. Still, I got a feeling that something happened that drove a wedge between us. I haven’t forgotten. We don’t talk as much as we did last summer. Not because you and I are busy. No. Because there’s this huge space between us and I don’t know what to do to fill it up. To make it disappear.
I have lost some good friends in my life. I’ve lost them because I wasn’t good enough as a friend. I wasn’t attentive and caring as a true friend should be. But it’s not because I didn’t love them. Maybe it’s just hard for me to express my feelings the way people expect me to? Maybe I just take everything I have for granted? I may be a b*tch sometimes, I know that. But what I also know is that I love all my friends deeply. You are my friend and always will be. I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want you to be nothing but a memory.
You may think I’m exaggerating and being pathetic when you read this post. Or you may think all of what I’ve just written is true. Whatever you may be thinking now as you read this, one fact will never change: I wish I were a better friend to you.
I’m sure there will be more posts about you in the future because I feel like I haven’t expressed all I feel in this one. Or maybe I’ll get to have a conversation with you that will last several hours, in which I’ll tell you everything J
Right now I’m listening to Plain White T’s. You know I love them. And you probably know that this song, as many other songs, reminds me of you (well, except for the last verse, maybe :p)

When the storm won't end
On your raging sea
When you've all but given up
Float back to me

When the waves come down
And your arms get weak
When you're tired of bailing out
Float back to me

‘Cause I can see sunlight
Through my window
If you open your eyes you'll
Find your way back home
Sunlight
Through my window
If you open your eyes you'll
Find your way back home

When you're all alone
Stuck in the dark
When you've lost your way in life
I won't be far

When the seasons change
And you fall apart
When the winter chill is near
I won't be far

‘Cause I can see sunlight
Through my window
If you open your eyes you'll
Find your way back home
Sunlight
Through my window
If you open your eyes you'll
Find your way back home

Baby
Can you hear me?
Come home
Baby
I need you near me
Come home

‘Cause I can see sunlight
Through my window
If you open your eyes you'll
Find your way back home
Sunlight
Through my window
If you open your eyes you'll
Find your way back home

Well it's lonely now
In this hotel room
And these sheets are empty, love
Waiting for you


Love, A

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