Thursday, May 23, 2013

For him

I'm not sure I'll write any posts this summer, so I have thought a lot on what the topic of this post should be.
I have a lot on my mind right now, and it is hard to bring everything together and write something good and meaningful.
Yet I decided to dedicate this post to the one who never left my mind and my heart this past year.
I do not want to reveal his name, although I know he'll never read my blog anyway.
Why do I want to write this post about him? Maybe it's because I know I will forget him soon and he will never bother me again. Maybe because my heart still aches every time I think of him.
These 15 months that he's been on my mind have been both happy and sad. That's what it's like when you love someone who doesn't give a damn about you. Happiness and sadness. Feeling both good and bad. It is such a pleasure to be in love, yet this love may hurt sometimes. That's what it's like in my case.
I thought it would work, but every time he put me down I felt like I did not deserve him at all. Now I've realized I was wrong. It is him who does not deserve me after all. I will not cry, I'll forget him and the feelings I had for him. I'll be strong.
Unrequited love teaches you some useful lessons, it sure does.
I just gotta thank him and the love I had for him for these lessons, for teaching me that I can be strong.
I just wish him and you all a nice summer.
Search for and find your love, your true love. May you never be blinded by what just seems like love.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mixed feelings

As my departure approaches, the feeling of excitement expands. I have no desire to study (nevermind the fact I never had it), and all my thoughts are focused on what this summer has in store for me. I thought everyone around me shared the same feeling with me.
I was mistaken.
The person that made me realize I was wrong is my mom. Today she revealed to me not being happy about my trip at all. She said she wasn't happy when my visa got approved. I understand why: she is a mother. She is worried. She has lots of fears. But boy did her words hurt.
I am excited, yet there is some fear. I am not afraid of travelling far away from home. I am afraid of leaving her alone.